It has been a hot minute since I last wrote a blog post.
To be honest with you, these past couple of weeks I have felt very uninspired and uncreative whatsoever. The NYX Face Awards really sucked everything out of me. It was really frustrating that I could not be creative in my work anymore because the competition required so much time and effort.
I was sad that I could not perform as I would usually do and create things that I genuinely wanted to.
Many projects that I wanted to get down to earlier, I couldn’t do, which was very annoying! I planned on doing more eye looks, more blog posts, more Youtube videos. But again, I just didn’t have the time or the energy to accomplish all of it.
When I got the news that I didn’t make it to TOP5 I was of course very disappointed. Then after a couple of hours I actually felt RELEAVED! (Even if a trip to LA wouldn’t have been THAT bad!) I finally had the time to do MY stuff again, things that I wanted to do and I could fully enjoy my holidays in Italy. It definitely was a break I needed!
I’m not saying that the NYX Face Awards we’re a bad experience or anything. I simply felt alot of pressure and kind of limited for other projects.
Finding your creativity is not always easy, especially when you are working in an environment where it is mandatory to perform. For me, I can be creative when I feel inspired, by people,art,music. If I feel restricted or locked up it is hard for me to be my full self.
That is exactly how I felt these past weeks and what made me not like the competition or my work so much. It was really difficult for me to be creative in that kind of sense. Although the theme selection was great. I think it’s just not the way I work and I am glad I know that now!
Whilst we were in Italy, I had the time to think about where I want to be in the future career wise and what I want to become. With my beauty school graduation coming up, this was an important issue I had to approach. I will definitely continue to show my work but I am not sure how yet. There will be changes on my blog as well as my new website (coming up soon!). I am not sure if I want to continue YT the way I did or if I will change things up there as well (let’s be real, I haven’t been posting alot there either! Schedule or vlogging maybe? ).
I am very excited for new things to come and maybe even a new chapter in my life as well!
I will keep you posted!